Talk

I wrote this a couple of months back, but I didn't feel it was the right time to post this. I do that with all of my literature pieces... write it, and then keep it safe until I feel it is right.

Well, it's right now. I... have trouble talking, and I've had this issue since I was born. I didn't talk at the age when everyone else started talking, I had a therapist person who worked with me, I stuttered really badly for a while and now... heck, I don't know whether it's worse now.

I am comfortable with my own silence, but I am so aware that I should say something sometimes, that I should contribute to discussions or whatever. Every time I heed to that force and step outside my comfort zone, it's a whole new ... sensation for me, I guess.

I feel as if my silence emanates from my being, and that people instinctively know I am a quiet person. It's one of those things, isn't it? You look at the people around you and you can pinpoint the person who is loud and the opposite of that.

I want to say that there is nothing wrong with me, but it's not natural, is it? If it were possible, I wouldn't talk at all. That's the extent of how I feel. I may have been born like this (my father is really, really quiet too) or I may have had this done to me (I won't go there now). It's just... some people don't understand. We're not all the same. Not all of us can talk (brazenly) and be fine with that.

I guess you could say it's my fault, and perhaps it is, but... yeah, this was how I felt a couple of months back, from a situation I can't remember now.

If you've read all of this, thank you.