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Literature Text
Is everything worth it?
I am sitting here, typing. I am alone, both physically and mentally, it seems. The clouds outside are in limbo; to rain or not to rain?
Is everything worth it?
Every day… that thought flashes in my mind. Every day I am surrounded by self-absorption, selfishness and hate. Every day I question myself…
Is everything worth it?
Is my life worth existing? Is my existence worth living?
The majority of my friends have gone, disappeared, and I clutch at the friends I do have, terrified that they will go too.
I don’t understand how people can be so self-centred, so rude and so mean. How did we reduce ourselves to something so low?
Is it to seek attention? Is it for popularity and to appear “cool”?
I get shunned, but… I don’t mind. I’m used to it. I’m used to people ignoring me, I’m used to people looking at me in disgust, I’m used to the feeling of worthlessness as if I’m not a living, breathing person who can feel… feel so much.
I have faith… but I feel that it is trickling down, bit by bit, second by second. I believe, but… I’m not sure whether I believe anymore.
I don’t want to hear your updates of your lives on Twitter or whatever you do on Facebook. I don’t want to see everything from your point of view. I don’t want to read your experiences or how you feel your lives are shit.
For once… can I be selfish, can I be rude, can I be mean too?
Why do you complain? Why do you treat people like this? Why?
We are all humans. Every single one of us reading this… we’re all the same. We all have bones, we all have blood and we all hurt.
“You did it wrong”
Did I? Seriously?
Right, wrong… light and dark, does it all matter? Is everything worth it?
I’m not too sure anymore.
Even though I believe there is still some good out there, for once… I don’t think it is strong enough. Light and love will not prevail this time, because we are sinking. We are truly sinking to something so low, we will never rise up again.
It seems that it is our human nature, our animal instincts, to only care for one, to only think of one, to only act as and for one.
I see nothing positive around me anymore.
Is everything worth it?
I don’t know.
I am sitting here, typing. I am alone, both physically and mentally, it seems. The clouds outside are in limbo; to rain or not to rain?
Is everything worth it?
Every day… that thought flashes in my mind. Every day I am surrounded by self-absorption, selfishness and hate. Every day I question myself…
Is everything worth it?
Is my life worth existing? Is my existence worth living?
The majority of my friends have gone, disappeared, and I clutch at the friends I do have, terrified that they will go too.
I don’t understand how people can be so self-centred, so rude and so mean. How did we reduce ourselves to something so low?
Is it to seek attention? Is it for popularity and to appear “cool”?
I get shunned, but… I don’t mind. I’m used to it. I’m used to people ignoring me, I’m used to people looking at me in disgust, I’m used to the feeling of worthlessness as if I’m not a living, breathing person who can feel… feel so much.
I have faith… but I feel that it is trickling down, bit by bit, second by second. I believe, but… I’m not sure whether I believe anymore.
I don’t want to hear your updates of your lives on Twitter or whatever you do on Facebook. I don’t want to see everything from your point of view. I don’t want to read your experiences or how you feel your lives are shit.
For once… can I be selfish, can I be rude, can I be mean too?
Why do you complain? Why do you treat people like this? Why?
We are all humans. Every single one of us reading this… we’re all the same. We all have bones, we all have blood and we all hurt.
“You did it wrong”
Did I? Seriously?
Right, wrong… light and dark, does it all matter? Is everything worth it?
I’m not too sure anymore.
Even though I believe there is still some good out there, for once… I don’t think it is strong enough. Light and love will not prevail this time, because we are sinking. We are truly sinking to something so low, we will never rise up again.
It seems that it is our human nature, our animal instincts, to only care for one, to only think of one, to only act as and for one.
I see nothing positive around me anymore.
Is everything worth it?
I don’t know.
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Comments175
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There are such interesting juxtapositions here: Wanting the freedom to be selfish or a jerk sometimes and wanting people to care, to have a greater capacity for compassion and look beyond themselves. Feeling that we're doomed yet expressing such a desire for "light and love." Questioning if it's worth it--but it feels to me that in the question there's more than resignation--"I don't know" seems to imply it's still uncertain, that even within the sense of pointlessness there's a glimmer of hope, as elusive as it is.
Well, that was my impression anyway. Don't know if I came close to the mark.
In a more visceral sense, I could relate to everything you said. I had an experience last year where someone was sending me some pretty awful notes. And I kept wondering, "Why do they hate me so much? How can they be so convinced they know who I am? And how come they have a right to be an a-hole, but I don't??"
Well, that was my impression anyway. Don't know if I came close to the mark.
In a more visceral sense, I could relate to everything you said. I had an experience last year where someone was sending me some pretty awful notes. And I kept wondering, "Why do they hate me so much? How can they be so convinced they know who I am? And how come they have a right to be an a-hole, but I don't??"