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Is everything worth it?

I am sitting here, typing. I am alone, both physically and mentally, it seems. The clouds outside are in limbo; to rain or not to rain?

Is everything worth it?

Every day… that thought flashes in my mind. Every day I am surrounded by self-absorption, selfishness and hate. Every day I question myself…

Is everything worth it?

Is my life worth existing? Is my existence worth living?

The majority of my friends have gone, disappeared, and I clutch at the friends I do have, terrified that they will go too.

I don’t understand how people can be so self-centred, so rude and so mean. How did we reduce ourselves to something so low?

Is it to seek attention? Is it for popularity and to appear “cool”?

I get shunned, but… I don’t mind. I’m used to it. I’m used to people ignoring me, I’m used to people looking at me in disgust, I’m used to the feeling of worthlessness as if I’m not a living, breathing person who can feel… feel so much.

I have faith… but I feel that it is trickling down, bit by bit, second by second. I believe, but… I’m not sure whether I believe anymore.

I don’t want to hear your updates of your lives on Twitter or whatever you do on Facebook. I don’t want to see everything from your point of view. I don’t want to read your experiences or how you feel your lives are shit.

For once… can I be selfish, can I be rude, can I be mean too?

Why do you complain? Why do you treat people like this? Why?

We are all humans. Every single one of us reading this… we’re all the same. We all have bones, we all have blood and we all hurt.

“You did it wrong”

Did I? Seriously?

Right, wrong… light and dark, does it all matter? Is everything worth it?



I’m not too sure anymore.

Even though I believe there is still some good out there, for once… I don’t think it is strong enough. Light and love will not prevail this time, because we are sinking. We are truly sinking to something so low, we will never rise up again.

It seems that it is our human nature, our animal instincts, to only care for one, to only think of one, to only act as and for one.



I see nothing positive around me anymore.

Is everything worth it?


I don’t know.
... Just stop.
Add a Comment:
 
:iconderelictvampire:
DerelictVampire Featured By Owner Feb 13, 2012
There are such interesting juxtapositions here: Wanting the freedom to be selfish or a jerk sometimes and wanting people to care, to have a greater capacity for compassion and look beyond themselves. Feeling that we're doomed yet expressing such a desire for "light and love." Questioning if it's worth it--but it feels to me that in the question there's more than resignation--"I don't know" seems to imply it's still uncertain, that even within the sense of pointlessness there's a glimmer of hope, as elusive as it is.
Well, that was my impression anyway. Don't know if I came close to the mark.
In a more visceral sense, I could relate to everything you said. I had an experience last year where someone was sending me some pretty awful notes. And I kept wondering, "Why do they hate me so much? How can they be so convinced they know who I am? And how come they have a right to be an a-hole, but I don't??"
Reply
:icon3wyl:
3wyl Featured By Owner Feb 20, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I suppose there are. Juxtapositions are interesting enough most of the time. :P

That's right. :nod:

I think you've got quite an accurate impression... though, of course, there is no entirely right or wrong answer... the piece can be interpreted however you want to interpret it.

Really? Wow... what happened? Did you sort it out in the end?
Reply
:iconderelictvampire:
DerelictVampire Featured By Owner Feb 25, 2012
I can't talk about it since it involves other people. And no, it didn't really get sorted out. It kind of went away eventually. But I'm still affected by it, like there are places on dA I don't feel comfortable going.
Reply
:icon3wyl:
3wyl Featured By Owner Feb 25, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Ah, that's fair enough. :nod:

Hmm... >.>

That's a bit dodgy, no?

Yeah, that's understandable. I am the same as well. :la:
Reply
:iconscorpionmk4:
ScorpionMK4 Featured By Owner Apr 12, 2011
lol i noticed that alot lately it's kinda depressing that most people now only think about themselves and sometimes i think that i'll be like them too but i can't... btw i noticed you like 'flying' or something along that line what's your fave animal? i'm just curious :XD:
Reply
:icon3wyl:
3wyl Featured By Owner Apr 13, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
Ah, yes, I get what you mean! :)

I think it's just inherent, really. :nod:

Birds. :D

I'm not exactly... I don't know much about them, and I really only like the fact that they can fly, really.

I'm fixated on freedom, and flight relates to that. :nod:
Reply
:iconscorpionmk4:
ScorpionMK4 Featured By Owner Apr 14, 2011
aha i see! awesome :glomp:
Reply
:iconcrunchy-case:
Crunchy-Case Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2011  Student Artist
Whoever did it should own up so I can punch them in the face.

Your opinions have more value to me than those worthless shits
who were being rude to you. Don't give a damn about them. Don't listen
to them. Yes, you can be selfish any time you want. It's your right as a
human being. They can't take that right away from you, because well,
they're humans too. They're just powerless really.

Just believe for a little while more, because everything will worth it in the end.
Reply
:iconfiresonic152:
Firesonic152 Featured By Owner Dec 30, 2011
I wish I could favorite comments. I really do.
Reply
:icon3wyl:
3wyl Featured By Owner Feb 20, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
:lol:

You are too kind. :hug:
Reply
:iconcrunchy-case:
Crunchy-Case Featured By Owner Feb 20, 2011  Student Artist
:D

No way.
Reply
:icon3wyl:
3wyl Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
Yes! :paranoid:
Reply
:iconblondedisaster:
BlondeDisaster Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2010   Digital Artist
wow. This was really powerful, I felt something inside me and in a way its really saw what we have become, but your not the only one we all doubt. All the strongest people do. Its what makes us stronger.
Reply
:icon3wyl:
3wyl Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2010  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you so much. :hug:

Indeed. :nod:
Reply
:iconbook-of-lostthings:
Book-of-LostThings Featured By Owner Oct 9, 2010  Student General Artist
Amazing work. I like your style, how it seems to be both poetic and pondering.

The atmosphere, the questions arising from this piece, make one stop and think. Lovely work.
Reply
:icon3wyl:
3wyl Featured By Owner Oct 9, 2010  Hobbyist General Artist
Ah, you are too kind. ^^;

Thank you very much! :)
Reply
:iconnamed-laika:
Named-Laika Featured By Owner Nov 15, 2009
Exactly.
I wish I could write something profound about how much the world has changed upsets me and disgusts me and makes me feel worthless... but you've hit the nail on the head.
Reply
:icon3wyl:
3wyl Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you. :)
Reply
:iconkasumidark:
KasumiDark Featured By Owner Aug 16, 2009
I don’t understand how people can be so self-centred, so rude and so mean. How did we reduce ourselves to something so low?

Is it to seek attention? Is it for popularity and to appear “cool”?


I wonder the same as well, WORST, I wonder how such people can reproach this to others LOL omg, I have someone who were crying on her journal about such persons ... *cough* she did the same right after *rofl*
Reply
:icon3wyl:
3wyl Featured By Owner Aug 17, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
Indeed. =/

It's kind of a never-ending cycle in that aspect. :)
Reply
:iconkasumidark:
KasumiDark Featured By Owner Aug 17, 2009
It is sadly u_u I don't know what it is the worst, hose who are selfish and don't whine or whose those whine about selfish people but are selfish as well -_-
Reply
:icon3wyl:
3wyl Featured By Owner Aug 18, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
Very true... The latter, I think... Personally, anyway. :)
Reply
:iconkasumidark:
KasumiDark Featured By Owner Aug 19, 2009
I think too, I swear if I hear something like that, some whining session about selfish people .... someone will stop quickly -_- I hate people like that.
Reply
:icon3wyl:
3wyl Featured By Owner Aug 22, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
Me too, but there's nothing you can do really. =/
Reply
:iconkasumidark:
KasumiDark Featured By Owner Aug 22, 2009
Say what I think, I like to be honest but honestly it makes me laugh, bitter laugh but when I see such stupidity .... XD
Reply
:icon3wyl:
3wyl Featured By Owner Aug 22, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
Bitter laugh indeed. :hug:

Ah well...
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconmadameanonyme:
MadameAnonyme Featured By Owner Aug 6, 2009
Alas, no one knows
is everything alright dear?

:hug:
Reply
:icon3wyl:
3wyl Featured By Owner Aug 15, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
Indeed. :)

Everything is fine, thank you for asking.

How are you?
Reply
:iconmadameanonyme:
MadameAnonyme Featured By Owner Aug 15, 2009
I am very good dear, yourself?
Reply
:icon3wyl:
3wyl Featured By Owner Aug 17, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
Likewise. :D
Reply
:iconmadameanonyme:
MadameAnonyme Featured By Owner Aug 17, 2009
oh yay! :D
Reply
:icon3wyl:
3wyl Featured By Owner Aug 18, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
Have you been up to much? :)
Reply
:iconmadameanonyme:
MadameAnonyme Featured By Owner Aug 19, 2009
yessum, dreading results :(
you?
Reply
:icon3wyl:
3wyl Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
Have they come yet?

A friend of mine has already received their A level results so...

I came back from a mountain trip a couple of days ago, but nothing much has been happening at the moment so...
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconunderworldriver:
underworldriver Featured By Owner Aug 3, 2009  Hobbyist Writer
Very emotional
Reply
:icon3wyl:
3wyl Featured By Owner Aug 4, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you. :)
Reply
:iconunderworldriver:
underworldriver Featured By Owner Aug 3, 2009  Hobbyist Writer
Very emotional
Reply
:iconcatspupil:
Catspupil Featured By Owner Jul 25, 2009
Hmmmm.

Here's a thing you have to remember.

No matter how rude, shallow, stupid, negative people are, how much they don't see the world that is in you...

They have a world inside of them too.

Any disgust they have shown you is passed on from somebody else. It's horrible, but it's true.

I am sorry for you, and I hope that you can get through this. But it won't stop, not completely, not ever.

You have to remember that.
Reply
:icon3wyl:
3wyl Featured By Owner Aug 5, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
Mm-hmm, I know what you mean. :nod:

Any disgust they have shown you is passed on from somebody else.

But... where did it come from? It's like the Chicken or the Egg theory. One must think that one was born with disgust in them, perhaps? :shrug:

Don't apologise. It's nothing, really. :) But yes, it won't stop. >.<

Thank you, and sorry for taking so long to reply. :hug:
Reply
:iconcatspupil:
Catspupil Featured By Owner Aug 6, 2009
It's absolutely fine. I'm feeling shit too at the moment, so you're not alone. And yes, regarding negativity, you might as well go back to the old stories about bad spirits, because they make about as much sense as anything else...
Reply
:icon3wyl:
3wyl Featured By Owner Aug 9, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
Lol, fair point. :hug:
Reply
:iconpriestofknowledge:
priestofknowledge Featured By Owner Jul 24, 2009   Writer
You got 5 pages of comments... can't boast you any more than you've been bolstered. The people are rare, but we do have communion. Mainly among travelers.
Reply
:icon3wyl:
3wyl Featured By Owner Jul 25, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
Interesting thought...

Thank you for the comment. :)
Reply
:iconsixcookies:
SIXCOOKIES Featured By Owner Jul 22, 2009
Jeez...Ya took the words right outta my mouth. I understand how you feel.
People just are.
It's all so confusing. I feel like I have faith, but at the same time I don't. It's like I can't make up my mind.
But, as life goes, this too shall pass. We can't change the actions of others, we can only govern ourselves. The most we could do is offer a helping hand.
And that's all we're trying to do. =/ But what can I say? People just are.
Lovely piece by the way. ^____^
Reply
:icon3wyl:
3wyl Featured By Owner Aug 5, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
:hug:

Mm-hmm, I definitely know where you're coming from. :D

Indeed it shall. :nod:

People just are. Powerful three words, there.

And thank you. :hug: I'm sorry I took ages to reply.
Reply
:iconsixcookies:
SIXCOOKIES Featured By Owner Aug 5, 2009
No problem chica! =D
Reply
:iconbahama-dreams:
Bahama-dreams Featured By Owner Jul 21, 2009
This is really well written. It has good flow and content. As far as the message? Remember one match is a hedge against the darkness, if that match lights one twig and that twig lights one log. As long as we hold a match the world will never go dark. You my dear are the match.
Reply
:icon3wyl:
3wyl Featured By Owner Aug 5, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you. :)

I've never heard that version before. 'Tis beautiful. :aww:

O.o

That's a bit... strong, isn't it? That I am that match, I mean. ^^;

I guess I am that match to myself, if that makes sense, but... not to anyone else, I don't think. :confused:

And sorry for taking so long to reply. ^^;
Reply
:iconbahama-dreams:
Bahama-dreams Featured By Owner Aug 5, 2009
I believe you are the match for your efforts. The match attempts to bring light. It may start out weak but can get stronger. BUT it starts and that is the point...
Reply
:icon3wyl:
3wyl Featured By Owner Aug 9, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
Indeed it is, well said. :)
Reply
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