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ix. Unspoken Gestures i. He shuffles around, a husk of what he used to be.

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September 13, 2011
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...If you saw yourself now.

by ^3wyl

Do you remember that time?

I chopped off the hair of my Barbie doll because you told me it would grow. I remember asking for you to prove it, and you did. You sliced into the hair, brushed it... then (I don't know what you did) I swear the hair was longer, and you gave me enough hope, belief, for me to try it too.

It seems that I was always the follower, always trusting you, always expecting things to turn out ok and when it didn't... on the rare occasions, you were always there. Always there.

Do you remember that time?

We got in so much trouble, but you stood there with that defiant lip of yours jutting out, your hands fisting over from the strain of trying to cross your arms as well, but managing to restrain yourself so that our parents didn't scream at us even more.

...and after that ordeal, you did it all over again as if to prove yourself, and to everyone else, that no one was in charge of your body, mind, soul.

Do you remember that time?

It might take you a while to remember. You came roaring (literally) into my life, didn't you? I remember feeling fear, first and foremost. You were totally wild. Just wild. Your hair scrambled to all corners, trying to escape your ferociousness, your expression... I don't even want to go there. But then... well, what was it like for you? It was exhilarating for me. It sounds cliché, but you offered a new life, a life that didn't have any boundaries, that had happiness teasing at every corner, that had...

Do you remember?
:icon3wyl:
Earlier on today, I found a bit of time to read through some literature submitted by the people that I watch here. It revived the (dead) want in me to write something, but.. yeah, that part is still 'resting' at the moment, so I looked back at my old pieces that I still haven't submitted and found this piece.

Originally, "If you saw yourself now" was not the title, but a continuation to "Do you remember?" at the end. However, about that place, I lost it and... I couldn't find it again. I couldn't write. I knew what I wanted to say, but the more I tried to grasp it, the more it slipped away until I just saved this piece and put it away for another day.

Another day has come and, somewhat ironically, nothing is coming to me, so I thought I may as well submit it. I think it works better now, actually, but.. yeah.

What do you think this is about?

I have my own ideas, but I don't want to influence you in any way. :D

Thank you for reading. :heart:

(The first bit is true stuff, by the way.)
:icon:
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:iconchildofthebeat:
~ChildoftheBeat Nov 29, 2011
.....................................

(you took all the beautiful words ♥)
Reply
:icon3wyl:
^3wyl Dec 4, 2011  Hobbyist Photographer
:hug:

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:iconcatchingwind:
~CatchingWind Nov 7, 2011  Student Writer
you've been featured here! -->[link]

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~keep me from blowing away~
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:icon3wyl:
^3wyl Nov 27, 2011  Hobbyist Photographer
Thank you! :)

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:iconcatchingwind:
~CatchingWind Nov 27, 2011  Student Writer
anytime, lovely :heart:

--
~keep me from blowing away~
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:iconakirasamiri:
~AkiraSamiri Oct 21, 2011
i wanna be like that character the narrator describes...quite moving lol

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Akira Samiri
www.myspace.com/ikarusuakira
or
[link]
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:icon3wyl:
^3wyl Oct 26, 2011  Hobbyist Photographer
Aww... :hug:

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:iconquirkytoothbrush:
*QuirkyToothbrush Oct 7, 2011  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Your work has been featured here: [link] :D

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I think people look at us and see it's okay to be different. They see that there is a way other than what they're being offered. That you can stand out, that you can be creative, and that you can be yourself. - Gerard Way :heart:
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:icon3wyl:
^3wyl Oct 16, 2011  Hobbyist Photographer
Thank you! :O

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:iconjenniej92:
~Jenniej92 Oct 2, 2011  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
i think its wonderful
and it seems to be written right out of the heart of the person! :nod:

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I felt Alive. It's good to bleed.

Yesterday, I stabbed myself with glass. The blood... it wouldn't stop.

...and it was hard to believe, it is hard to believe, that this blood (apparently) travels nearly 12,000 miles, beats around 35 million times every year and pumps a million barrels of blood during an average lifetime.

Just to pull out a few facts and figures from a site.

Not even sure if it's true.

...but it is interesting, isn't it?

I haven't stepped foot in hospital since the day I was born. I rarely get injuries because I am not 'accident prone'. After going so long without hurting myself physically, it's good to feel pain... literally.

It's gI felt Alive. by ^3wyl
...If you saw yourself now. Do you remember that time?

I chopped off the hair of my Barbie doll because you told me it would grow. I remember asking for you to prove it, and you did. You sliced into the hair, brushed it... then (I don't know what you did) I swear the hair was longer, and you gave me enough hope, belief, for me to try it too.

It seems that I was always the follower, always trusting you, always expecting things to turn out ok and when it didn't... on the rare occasions, you were always there. Always there.

Do you remember that time?

We got in so much trouble, but you stood there with that defiant lip of yours jutting out, your hands fisting over from ...If you saw yourself now. by ^3wyl
It looked so harmless. This

is where we
stand [now]
is it?

We enter into a stalemate
[a tug of war]
neither of us offering, nor
making the first step to bind...

...together the bobbing corks
that we are on to make it one
(once again).

It looked so harmless. If I had to find a
definit(iv)e Point, I wouldn't know
where to pin it. Perhaps it was
your fault or mine,
or [maybe] it was the fault of
no one but

time. Is that what it
              took
to    s e p a r a t e    us?

We can scarcely
{ look }
at each other,
space (over)flowing with

nothIt looked so harmless. by ^3wyl
My Declaration I am not harming anyone.

I am not brandishing a knife in a person's face, cocking a gun, or wiring an explosive ready to shatter somebody's life. I am not corrupting, drugging, or even torturing someone to death. If I am harming anyone, it is I that is being harmed mentally and emotionally, if not physically.

Yet, it seems I harm people by my very existence, by not being slit, sliced and slashed, shoved and suffocated into the mould they want me to be. Who and what I am... simply unacceptable. I find it difficult to understand how I am harming these people. I harm them by going 'out of my (and theirs, I'm sure) way' when this 'way' is me. IMy Declaration by ^3wyl
Blind              Bruised are my
eyes that squint on with
                  timid graceBlind by ^3wyl
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